Here We Go

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Morgan. Bless his heart. After the drunk texting debacles with each other a few weeks ago, I decided not contact him. We chatted a couple of weeks ago, but not about anything of substance; just some “how have you been” and “work sucks” conversation. Wednesday (it’s always Wednesdays…), I woke when my alarm went off to a text he had sent at midnight. I sent him a message that evening asking if he had been bored at work. The reply: “I was at work, but I thought about you and wanted to say hi and see how you were.” We chatted all evening, and before I went to bed he said we should get dinner sometime so he could give my movie back. We ended up planning to get coffee this coming Monday. As friends. The next day, I had a message waiting for me when I left work. Our conversation started out innocent enough, but soon he was telling me this long story about how he falls for the wrong women that can’t give him what he needs and wants in a relationship. He gave me some specifics about the gal he dated just prior to me. They became friends with benefits a couple of weeks after he stopped seeing me. He went on to say that he was falling back in love with her, so he broke things off because he knew they didn’t want the same things, blah, blah, blah. I do what I always do, and told him that he should do what makes him happy even if it hurts at first. He did his usual and made a joke about my optimism and rationality. Then he said he wanted to see the new chick flick, If I Stay. I responded that it looked good but was going to be a tearjerker. He said again that he wanted to see it. I’m not stupid, Morgan. I know what you’re doing. I replied, “then go see it.” I’m a jackass. He then asked if I wanted to see the movie when we hang out on Monday. I want to see it, so I said yes. Is this a date? I’m hoping not. He hurt me so much, but I’m not sure what I would say if he tells me he wants to be with me. Actually, I’m not sure I want to be with him romantically at all. He’s fun and we have a great time together, but he greatly disrespected my feelings. Though I may forgive him, it’s hard to forget.

That said, I have a date with Whole Foods boy in two hours. I never did text him, though it took a TON of will-power. He sent me a message yesterday saying he had a crazy week but that he wanted to get together soon and asked what I was doing the next afternoon/evening. I told him I didn’t have any solid plans, which was true. I made a couple of “let’s maybe do this thing” plans, but no actual commitments. We picked a time to meet. No actual plan, but we had a time. As I type this, we are finalizing things. Meeting at Thai Place at 6:30. I’m excited but I’ve become so jaded to dating. Same conversation with every fellow: “did you grow up around here?” “How many siblings do you have?” “What do you like to do in your spare time?” I realized today that I don’t know how old he is. He might be fresh out of college. Shit. Oh well. I did go on a date with 23 year old guy who was studying to be a surgical tech and once with a 20 year old (though we both knew that wasn’t going anywhere…). Whatever. Let’s do this.

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