Adam was my mechanic and has been present in my life for about two and a half years. He was my forbidden fruit: I took a bite, got caught and subsequently divorced. Adam was a mystery and he ultimately broke my heart. All tears aside, he was the best thing that could have happened to me.
We continued to text and got together once prior to my legal divorce. I went on a ten day road trip that November and he asked me to send him pictures. He told me he wanted to see me when I was back in town. However, when I got back home, he didn’t respond to my text and I let things die. I didn’t hear from him until June 23rd. His birthday.
He was on-again-off-again with his girlfriend. When they were rocky, he would text me. If things were good, I wouldn’t hear from him. So why after 7 months of nothing was he texting me? His favorite thing to say was “I don’t want any drama.” Excuse me? I’m single and YOU texted ME. He wanted me to come see him. After all the shitty guys I’d dealt with and the fact that I wasn’t getting laid on a regular basis, I figured why not. I was barely in the door when he started kissing me and telling me how much he missed me. His apartment reeked of weed and he had alcohol on his breath, but I was there for one reason and I wasn’t leaving without accomplishing that one thing. Afterward, we walked out onto his balcony and he talked about the Super Moon and how much he loved the summer and blah blah blah… I told him it was late and I had to work the next day. I couldn’t believe how hurt he looked, but he hugged me and kissed me and told me he’d see me soon.
We didn’t communicate for a couple of months. He was back with his girlfriend and things were complicated. He started texting me A LOT toward the end of September. He was single and wanted to see more of me. At the end of October he finally came out with it and said he liked me and wanted to date me but “didn’t have anything to offer.” He started coming over to see me on a weekly basis after his class. We didn’t see each other on the weekends, but I was just happy he wanted to see me at all. I knew deep down that it wasn’t something that would last, but I wanted it to continue because he made me feel like no man had ever made me feel.
Our weekly meeting went on for about four months until I decided I wasn’t okay being at his beckon call. I hadn’t heard from him in about a week and I knew something was up. I sent him a super long text detailing how I wasn’t an object and being on his schedule just wasn’t cutting it, etc… I didn’t hear back. One week later, I sent another message. This time I apologized if I hurt his feelings but I was hurt and wanted to express those feelings to him. I received a reply 5 minutes later: Adam had a soft spot for me emotionally but knew it could never work out between us because we came from such different worlds. He said he had been seeing someone and was trying to behave. He also said he knew this wasn’t the right way to go about telling me, but he had so many feelings for me that he couldn’t stand to hurt me. He also wanted to be friends, but he didn’t think I wanted that. WHAT? Upfront honesty would have hurt less.
I will never take my car to him for work again. He told me several times that he gets so high that he loses tools in people’s cars. He is a half-assed, cheating, lying person but I’m honestly glad to have had the experience with him. Every woman needs to date that asshole who turned their life around.
He gave me a plant when we first started dating. I re-potted it two weeks before he broke my heart. I have dreams about throwing it through his business window or leaving it on the step of his duplex. I’ll never do those things because I’m not a crazy lady. I’ll never text him or call him again, but I’m sure I’ll hear from him in the future…